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Play with Your Parents · 6 March 2010
My wife, The Mindboggling Mrs. Miyoshi, has told me many times that I should go play with my kids while they still want me to do so. I usually hear this when I am thoroughly engaged in some inconsequential activity and I am ignoring my children’s pleas to go do something with them. She says things like, “They will not always want to play with you,” or “Remember that song,” which of course is, Cats in the Cradle by Harry Chapin. Naturally, I go play with the kids. Recently, I turned my wife’s admonition on one of my kids so he would go play with me.
It was a beautiful day and I wanted to go shoot some baskets. I did not want to go by myself so I invited the kids. Thing 1 was taking a nap or otherwise engrossed in teenage endeavors. Thing 3 was skating with the neighbors. Thing 2 was sitting inside reading on that beautiful sunny day. I asked at least twice to make sure that he actually heard me. He grunted some reply which told me that he was completely engaged with his book. So as I laced up my shoes and otherwise got ready, I said to him, “You should go play with your dad while he is still young enough to play with you and while he still wants to play with you.” Thing 2 and his brothers have all heard The Mindboggling Mrs. Miyoshi say those exact word to me, albeit with the roles reversed, which is why I believe he decided to lay down his book and come shoot with me.
We had a great time playing basketball. Actually, we just played horse. Rather, we were going to play horse, but Thing 2 thought that was too short. Then, he thought that we ought to play horsefly like we had a few days before, but that was too short too. So we ended up playing “Polka dotted green-eyed monster” or some such modification of the game. In the end, it was great fun just shooting around and trying to keep track just where in the word we were. After all, knowing the single letter in horse is much easier than figuring out that we might be “Polk” or “Polka dot” or even “Polka dotted gree” whatever a gree is. We had a great time.
Whether my wife urges me to play with the kids or I urge them to play with me, we always have a great time. I am always thankful that The Mindboggling Mrs. Miyoshi has enough perspective on life to help me choose the important things. And I am glad that she knows the song too.
My kids are really too young to know about the Cats in the Cradle song, but I hope that when they do hear it, they do not think of me. I hope that they remember saying to me, “Come on let’s play,” and hearing me reply, “Let’s go.” I hope they even remember me asking them to come out and play. Even if the request has a little twist about coming out while I am still young enough to play.
© 2010 Michael T. Miyoshi
Kept For Posterity · 27 February 2010
My wife, the Mindboggling Mrs. Miyoshi, says that I am a packrat. She is right, of course. I have old books, old movies, old clothes. Most of the things are not collectibles. I might even be able to live without most of the old things I have (except maybe the clothes, which I still wear). But most of the things that I cannot bring myself to throw away have some significant or sentimental value.
Most of those significant things are writings of some kind. I have old letters from friends and I even have notebooks of things I have written. I am not sure what most of the writing is from or why I have kept it, except that it is writing. The Mindboggling Mrs. Miyoshi says that even if I become a famous writer in my time, that stuff will still probably not be worth anything. To collectors or anybody else. She is probably right, but I keep it anyway. Someday, I might even go through it all and see what I need to keep and what I need to throw away. But do not quote me on that.
I find myself thinking the same thing with my email. I have hundreds of emails that I have kept for no good reason except that they are correspondence from family and friends. I really should go through and delete some, but they seem to be a part of my history. So deleting them would be like deleting part of me.
Even though there are few emails that I really need to keep, there is at least one that I do not plan on deleting. Ever. It came from Thing 2 who wants to get email from people. His email message said:
Speak to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Are you alive?!?!?!?!? Hello! Any body home? Hellooooooo?
He sent it to his grandparents, his mother, and me. He even sent it to some of his friends who must not check their email very often. His message is really a testament to innocence. After all, (I told him in my reply) one day he would love to check his email and find nothing new. But so far he has not yet had the taste of electronic spam.
Even though she is not a packrat, my wife has items that she holds onto also. One of those items is an electronic message that she cannot delete. It has been on our answering machine for almost a year now. As a matter of fact, it was the reason for this whole column. (“You need to write about the message on the answering machine.”)
Thing 3 was in second grade at the time and had gotten into trouble. So much trouble that he had to call home and talk to a parent. Fortunately, nobody was home and he had to leave a message, otherwise, the call would just be a memory. As it is, we probably get to hear the message once a month. Thing 3 said that he was in trouble for saying to somebody that he “sucked boobies.” While the message itself is entertaining now that the trouble and turmoil of the moment has passed, the anxiety and humility expressed in Thing 3’s low, almost mumbling, voice are priceless. Getting in trouble enough to call one’s parents is a terrible thing. And when the offense is that of offending somebody else, there is no excuse. But the words and the voice with which they are spoken make me smile every time I hear the message.
I know that there are things I need to throw away. Not everything is significant or sentimental no matter how much I insist that it is. Still, I am glad that the Mindboggling Mrs. Miyoshi and I do agree that at least some messages are meant to be kept forever. Even if they are kept for posterity in a piece of my writing, in an email, and on a message machine. (I am sure that fifty years from now, we will still be listening to a voice mail from a contrite second grader.)
Yes, some things must be kept forever. Packrat or not.
© 2010 Michael T. Miyoshi
Writing Challenges · 20 February 2010
My friend Tim has chosen to make me better. A better writer and teacher. I have chosen to make him better too. Like steel sharpens steel, we help each other get better by talking, collaborating, and giving each other challenges. Lately, the challenges Tim has given me have been fun, but a bit distracting.
Tim likes to remind me that I am a writer. He forgets that I already realize I am a writer who loves to teach. Like any professional, I must practice my craft. So I write this column each week while trying to become a better teacher as well. I also write other pieces to become a better story teller. After all, whether writing for my digital audience, or for the local newspaper, or just for practice, I need to hone my skills. And story telling is a primary skill for any writer.
Which brings me back to the challenges Tim has been giving me lately. One of the components of the classes he teaches is story telling. When his cinema students create movies, it is the rare one that has a great story, simply because most have not been telling stories very long. As Tim and I were talking about it, I realized that I have been telling stories in written form for almost thirty years. (To my wife’s chagrin, I still have boxes with notebooks of my writing filling up the nooks and crannies of our house.)
Tim was wondering about a new method of getting his students to tell stories. Actually, the method is not new, but having it as part of his class is. The method is to give the students a situation, prop, and line and make them create a script in half an hour or maybe only fifteen minutes. It is a great writing and creative challenge. So naturally, he has been giving it to me. Three prompt in three days. Naturally, I have taken the challenge.
Thankfully, Tim has given me the challenges at the end of the day. While I do not have any way to write down my response during my commute home, I have come up with decent stories on my drive. They will not win any academy awards for short pieces, but they are pretty decent for only a half hour of work. I even wrote each of them out using the proper script format, albeit after the fact.
To show Tim that I did not take more than the allotted time, I sent him emails after I got home. On the first occasion, I sent him a short description of the setup and punch line. The second one, I sent a description of the movie plot. And in response to the third challenge, I sent him a complete script. I have since had the chance to write the complete scripts for all of the pieces, although at the time of this writing, my challenger had not even read my responses.
I am not sure if I have lived up to my part of the bargain of challenging my colleague and friend. He has certainly challenged me to become a better writer and teacher these past four or five years. I have enjoyed sharpening each other’s skills at teaching, writing, and photography. And truth be told, I have even enjoyed these past writing challenges. Regardless of how much I have complained to Tim. Still, I do not know that I have challenged Tim enough. Although he seems to be able to keep himself entertained and challenged.
Every professional should be surrounded by friends and colleagues who challenge him to become better. I am glad that I have many friends like Tim who constantly challenge me that way. I hope that I do the same Tim and the rest of those friends. Even if it is a little uncomfortable or distracting.
I know that I have become a better writer and teacher by knowing Tim. And I have thanked him often for helping to make me better at what I do. I often complain about his script prompts, even though they are a great challenge for my commute home. (But do not tell that to Tim.)
© 2010 Michael T. Miyoshi
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