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Tune in Next Time… · 6 May 2023

“Tune in next time for our next exciting adventure of…”

I used to love to watch Saturday morning cartoons. We would get up and turn on the TV and just spend time laughing at Bugs Bunny and Elmer Fudd. We would wonder if Mighty Mouse would indeed save the day. We just knew that Boris and Natasha would never get the best of Rocky and Bullwinkle. Ah, those were the days.

The ruse that many of our favorite shows used at the end of their shows was a cliffhanger. Will whoever the hero was save whoever the damsel in distress was? Will the hero thwart the villain? Will the… You get the picture. Sometimes those cliffhangers were right before a commercial that was hawking some cereal or other product that kids would pester their parents to get them. But more often than not, those cliffhangers which were asked by the narrators were answered by those same narrators, “Tune in next time…”

So we did. We tuned in the next time and the next time and the next time. We tuned in every time. Or so it seemed.

I thought about that the other day as I was writing my blog. What if I had a cliffhanger at the end of my blog? What if I wrote in such a way that I could end my blog post with the words, “Tune in next time for the next exciting adventure of MediocreMan”? (Of course, you would hear the “Man, Man, Man” echo like in those old shows.) That would be so cool. (Especially, the echo, echo, echo.) I could be the text equivalent to Saturday morning cartoons!

Okay. I know. I might be the greatest thing since sliced bread in some other universe, but not in the real world. I am probably more like stale bread. With a touch of mold on it that you did not see, but certainly tasted when you decided to eat said slice of stale, slightly moldy bread. Ugh! Just the thought turns your stomach. Or at least make you think, “Gross! Gag me with a spoon.”

Oops. I just time traveled.

At any rate. Where was I? Oh yes. It would be so cool to write a serial type of blog. One where the next post was tied into the last. One where MediocreMan was a superhero or superwriter or super-something-or-other who had adventures continuing from one post to the next.

Ah well. There is fantasy and there is real life and there is blogging.

At any rate.

Even if my blog is not that exciting (or even that interesting), I hope you will still… Tune in next time for the next exciting adventure of MediocreMan.

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Writing Prompts · 29 April 2023

I do not use prompts to write my blog, but perhaps I should.

Life has its ups and downs, its highs and lows, its bumps and bruises. And that is just the writing part of life. Those times when I have many ideas and when I have few. Those times when I cannot write myself out of a paper bag. Wait, I think the saying is “fight myself out of a paper bag.”

At any rate. There are times when I have droughts when it comes to writing.

Fortunately, this is not one of those times. I have been having a bunch of great writing ideas lately. Or at least they seem great. Unfortunately, they seem to be book ideas, not blog ideas. Okay. “Unfortunately” is not the right term. It just seems unfortunate for my blog. And for my faithful readers (both real and imaginary).

This unfortunate series of events has got me to thinking that I need some prompts. Something besides my life to write about. After all, I cannot always write about my life. My life is not full of mischief and mayhem. It is work and rest from work. Or so it seems. The kids are independent and doing their own thing, so I cannot write about them. My wife has forbidden me to write about her unless I submit a request in triplicate seven weeks in advance. And I cannot even write about writing all the time. After all, I have only two pieces of writing advice. Okay three. Write. Write some more. Then, ship it. Those are my three pieces of advice. It is tough to get many blog pieces out of my formula for success. Or at least my formula for whatever it is I am doing.

Which is why I thought about prompts.

It would be great if I could find a bunch of blog prompts. I could write silly stuff. Or serious stuff. I could write fiction or non-fiction. I could write whatever tickles my fancy. Or at least I could write about the prompts that somebody else thought would be good things to write about.

The interesting things about prompts is that they are out there. The not so interesting thing is that the prompts I have seen are for college essays or practice essays for English or practice essays for getting ready for those practice college essays. You get the picture. Or maybe not. All I can say is that most of those essay prompts are boring. Or they are all the same.

Write about somebody who influenced you.
Write about your greatest fear.
Write about your greatest accomplishment. (So far.)
Write about somebody who you admire.
Write about…

You get the picture. Like I said before, boring. Spelled S-N-O-R-E. Oh wait. That is how you spell blog. Or at least that is what some people tell me.

Sometime I wonder why I still blog. After all, my best friends either tell me I am boring or they wonder if I am still blogging. Or they wonder if I am ever going to write anything interesting. Or they hate the way I end too many sentences with prepositions. Okay. Not all of them. Not all my friends that is. (Obviously, I cannot end all my sentences with prepositions.)

Well, that is about all the time and energy I have for this blog post. I hate to end it so abruptly, but I suppose my readers (both real and imaginary) are used to it by now. I suppose it would be nice to do some blog posts from prompts, but I doubt that would help change the quality of what I write. Ah well.

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I Sold Another Book · 22 April 2023

I sold another book! Woo hoo!

It is funny. When you think of an author selling a book, you think of that author getting the book published by some book company. Or making a movie deal. Not so with self-published authors. At least not so with me. When I say that I sold another book, I really just sold one book.

Now, I know in the grand scheme of things, selling a single print-on-demand book is not that great of an accomplishment. It does not generate much revenue. After all, it is just one book. But also in the grand scheme of things, it is one book. Woo hoo!

The great thing about this one book sale is that it now makes three months in a row that I have sold at least one book. Okay. Three months in the last four. (I think.) And yes, one book sale in each month. So I have sold at least three books in the last four months. Woo hoo!

Now lest you think that I am crazy for crowing about a single book sale in each of three months, I must say that I have something else to report. A trend. That is right. I have noticed a trend. Okay. I had to go back a couple months before that to see the trend, but it is there. And yes. I know that looking at three of four book sales is not really what would normally be called a trend. But still…

What is that trend? I am glad you asked.

The trend is that three of the last four books I sold were the same book, rather the same book title. Two were digital books, but one was a printed book. Which is pretty cool. That three people bought the same book of mine is amazing. Or I suppose that it could be two or even just one person who bought the book. But it does not matter. That I have had any book sales is always amazing to me. Not because I do not think I am a great writer. I just do not think I am a great promoter.

(Okay. I do not think of myself as a great writer. But I do think I write okay. At least approaching mediocre. But I know I am an awful promoter.)

So where was I? Oh yes. Trends.

If the latest trend continues, I might be able to sell nearly a dozen books by the end of the year. That would be something. Especially considering that I have probably only sold that many books since I started self-publishing my books over a decade ago. And if that trend of doubling my sales every decade continues, I might sell a few dozen books before I turn one-hundred. Woo hoo!

(#ad) D.B. Cooper and Me

Okay. I know it is nothing to brag about, but I am actually excited that I have sold a few books. And I am excited that I have sold a few of the same book. Not that it is really a trend, but it would be cool if it was. It would be cool if everybody bought my book D.B. Cooper and Me. It is a simple piece of fiction, but it is a fun story about my fictional uncle meeting a fictional D.B. Cooper. For more of the story, you will need to get the book. (Wow! That was an amazing paragraph of promotion.)

So to all you aspiring writers out there, get busy. If I can write and sell a book, you can too.

I know I should not brag, but I need to say it again. I sold another book! Woo hoo!