Page 20 | MediocreMan

Have You Read My Books? · 21 December 2024

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Just because you have books out there, does not mean that anybody will buy them. Or maybe that is just me.

When I tell people that I have over a dozen books on Amazon ready for people to buy, they think it is amazing. “Wow! That many books!?” They are amazed for a moment and then nobody buys them. Okay. Not nobody. I have a friend and colleague who bought three of my books after a road trip to a track and field meet. He said that he liked the first chapter of D.B. Cooper and Me, but has not had a chance to read more yet.

Which is the other problem I seem to have. Those who do buy my book or who I give the book to or who somehow have a copy of any of the books I have written seem to not read the whole thing. Okay. A couple people have. But they are both related to me. Which is par for the course. I do have relatives who have read and even commented on my books. (Thank you.) I am just not sure they have read them. (Just kidding. I had to say that to finish the woe is me notion.)

(By the way, I am not having a woe is me pity party. I actually do not like to have them, although I have been told that I do have them. No. In reality, when I talk about nobody reading my books, it is a backward way of saying that people ought to read my books. I know. It does not work for most people. It probably does not work for me either. But hey. Why not go with what is not working anyway.)

At any rate.

I love to write. I even like the publishing part. I am not much into the editing and promoting part. I need to get better at both of those. The editing thing is pretty easy with a blog post. Just read it through a time or two, fix an issue here or there, then post it. Whether it is any good or not. Just throw it out there and see what sticks. And if it does not stick, that is okay. The couple readers that you have will think it funny or that it stinks or somewhere in between. Or maybe that is just me. Okay. That is just me.

At any rate.

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I am not complaining about people not buying or commenting on my books. After all, I have not done much promoting of them. I have not run any specials. I have not tried to get every person I know to buy them. But maybe I should. Maybe I should be that obnoxious writer you know who is always pushing his books on everybody. Maybe I should be that shameless self-promoter who gets on everybody’s nerves because all he talks about is himself and his products. Maybe I should…

Nah. That is just not me. I am not a self-promoter. I do not even like to talk about myself. Other people are so much more interesting than I am. I would much rather listen to somebody than talk to anybody about myself. Which is why I blog. I can say dumb stuff any time and nobody will remember.

Okay. That is about it. This is another call to my readers to buy one of my books. Maybe even read it. And maybe even leave a comment about it. Either here or on Amazon. I love feedback. Good or bad. After all, having no comments seems like having a bunch of bad reviews. Nobody likes my books enough to say anything about them. Ah well.

So buy one (or more) of my books and leave a review. You might regret it, but I hope not. I hope you enjoy my books as much as you enjoy my blog. Well, maybe I hope you enjoy them more.

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Glass Does Not Like Me · 14 December 2024

I do not know about you, but there are inanimate objects that do not like me. Glass is one of them.

Motorcycles and knives and glass are all inanimate objects that have one thing in common. They do not like me. I know. It is silly for me to think that, but my experience so far has shown me that it is true.

Motorcycles have hurt me since I was a child. Oh not that hurt. No big crashes or lost limbs or anything like that. I got thrown on my back by a motorcycle. I hurt my leg on a motorcycle. And of course, I have been burned a time or two on the exhaust. So for the most part, I stay away from motorcycles.

Knives are the same way. I seem to cut myself when I use a knife. No big cuts. No loss of digits or anything like that. I do not even think I have needed stitches after handling knives. But I do seem to get some sort of cut. Even when I am handling the blade correctly. Which is why I am very careful when handling knifes. I want to make sure that they do not hurt me. Especially when it seems they are out to get me.

Glass does not like me either. I am not talking about glasses that you either see out of or that you drink from. I am talking about plates of glass. Windows and doors. I do not crash into them or anything like that. Nothing so drastic. Or hurtful. Thankfully, it has always gone worse for the glass than for me.

I think that I do not do well with glass because I do not really know how to handle glass. It is as if I think it is more rugged than it really is. Or that it is not as tough as I give it credit. Or that I do not think of it as glass at all.

Now, I know I should not do it, but I have thrown rocks at glass. Not like you see in the movies where a romantic person tosses pebbles at an upper window to get the attention of his true love. No. I am talking about high speed pebbles shattering glass doors. Yes. Doors, plural. No. I was not chucking rocks. I was using a weed whacker to edge the grass and the thing threw a rock at a glass door. Once in the front. Once in the back. Argh! Fixing glass is such a pain. Well ordering and replacing glass is such a pain.

And then there was the glass shower door. I do not even remember what I did with it. I just remember it shattering when I was fixing it. I was probably tightening a bolt or something.

Which is what I did on my latest glass fiasco.

To be fair, I was tightening a bolt on something I did not think was glass. The front handle of our oven had lost a couple bolts. They had come loose and the handle was hanging from just one side. So I looked up how to fix it and it seemed simple enough. Remove the door (there are a couple locking latches on the hinges), remove a few screws. Then replace the handle and put it all back together. Piece of cake.

The thing is, the part of the oven door that I was messing with was a thick piece of glass glued onto a piece of steel. I thought I was screwing down the door handle to something solid, not a piece of glass. So just a tiny press on my electric drill and crack. Another glass breaking incident. Like I said, I did not know I was bolting the handle to a piece of glass. I might have been a little more careful had I known. Maybe. Then again, this piece of glass was disguising itself as a piece of metal. I should have looked closer. But I probably still would have broken it. After all glass does not like me. It breaks up whenever I get too near.

I know that it is illogical to think so, but motorcycles, knives, and glass do not like me. Glass hates me the most. I do not hate those inanimate objects, but if I never have to repair something that has glass in it, it will be too soon.

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I Was Not Going to, but… · 7 December 2024

I suppose there are times when we think we are not going to do something then do it anyway. Times when we think, “I was not going to, but…” That was what happened with my story about dying in my dreams. I was not going to post the story, but then I decided that I would. Even if it is a bit morbid. Even if it seemed unlike me.

There are other times when I think that same thought. I am not going to do this or that or the other. Then, I decide that it is okay. It is okay to do this or that or the other. It might even be a good thing. Of course, there are many things that could fit into this category. I am not sure what they are, but I am sure I can think of something by the end of this blog post.

One of the things that I seem to do without being able to stop myself is saying stupid stuff. I was not going to correct somebody’s pronunciation of a word, but I decided to do it. I was not going to comment on this or that or the other, but I decided that I like the taste of my foot. I suppose those are the usual things. I wonder what it is? I suppose I just like the notion: Open mouth, insert foot.

At any rate.

I suppose there are other things that I was not going to do but decided to do anyway. Nothing drastic or earth shattering or anything like that. I was not going to start a weekly blog way back in 2007, but then I did. I have not regretted it, but I suppose there are others who wish I had regretted it or that I had never started it or that I would just get over it and stop already.

It is funny. That is one thought that I have not had since I began. I have never thought, I am going to stop blogging, but kept on anyway. It is not that I always love it. Sometimes it is a chore. But blogging is a way to hone my craft. It is a way to stay sharp. Even if my writing is not all that great. Even if I am still striving to be mediocre.

At any rate.

I was going to write a longer blog post, but I think this is about it. I am not sure there is much else to say. Except that I hope I did not shock any of my readers with my story about dying in your dreams. Or rather, of me dying in my dream. I know it is not a normal subject that I would tackle in my blog. But it was a vivid dream that I just had to write about. And even though I was not planning on sharing it, I could not come up with anything else that week. And I had told my dream to at least one other person. So why not.

Like I said, I was not going to post my story about dying in my dream, but in the end, I did. I do wonder what else I was not going to do but then did anyway. Hmm…