Page 27 | MediocreMan

Retirement? · 27 July 2024

People keep asking me when I plan on retiring. I keep wondering if they are trying to get rid of me. And I keep telling them that the Lord will let me know.

This next school year will be my thirtieth year teaching. At the same school. Teaching the same subjects (for the most part). Almost exclusively in the same room. It has been a wonderful time. The kids have mostly been great. The colleagues have been amazing. And I have enjoyed almost every minute of it. But after thirty years, I know the end is coming. I just do not know when. Next year? The year after? The year after that? I just do not know. I am happy and healthy, and I still like going to work each day. So who knows?

There is only one other thing that I would like to do more than teaching. That is writing. For a living. If I could spend a few hours each day writing and make enough money to support my family, I would consider retiring. Which means that if you want me to retire, go out and buy a bunch of my books and tell others to do so also. (But do not boycott my books if you want to keep me in the classroom. I still need to retire some day.)

I am actually not sure what retirement looks like. People talk about doing the things they want to do. They talk about leisure activities. They talk about trips. They even talk about writing. But somehow, they do not seem to do all those things they talked about. Or maybe that is just my perception. Maybe they really do golf or fish or exercise each day. Maybe they learn new things. Maybe they take up that new hobby they never had time to do before.

But that is the kicker. If people do not make time now to take up that hobby they say they want to do, why do they think they will do so after retirement? Why do we think that we will really have more time after we retire than we do now? Why do we think that our time is completely constrained by our jobs (and recovering from our jobs)?

I think we all take time to do the things we want to do. Whether we are retired or not. Oh sure. We have budget constraints and time constraints. But we will always have those. Okay. Some people do not really have much budget constraints, but the vast majority of us do. And so we will need to choose what we can do with our time and money. But we have always had to do that. Retired or not.

So we ought to take the time to do the things we always thought we wanted to do. We ought to learn how to tie flies. We ought to write that book. We ought to learn that language. We ought to lower our golf handicap by practicing and playing. We ought to… Well, you get the picture.

I must say that I agree with our former pastor. Christ followers need to think of retirement as a new way to serve God and people. We should be doing that now, and we should keep doing so even in retirement.

I do not know when I will retire, but I do know that I will keep doing at least one thing I love besides teaching. I will continue to write whether anybody reads. I will continue to write whether I am retired or not. I will continue to write, whether I ever get to mediocre or not.

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Sign My Book? · 20 July 2024

I am always surprised when people want me to sign my books.

I decided that I need to give away a few books. I figured maybe that will help with promoting them. Prime the pump so to speak. Maybe it will even generate a review or two. Even if they are not reviews from verified buyers. Or whatever they are called.

So far, I have only given my books to people I know. My friends and relatives. Not to all of them. I may not have that many friends, but way too many relatives to give everybody books. I would break the bank if I gave them each a copy of each of my books. But I have given a few copies of a few titles to a few people. And even though I have not given that many books away, I have been surprised when people ask me to sign them.

Now, most writers give drafts to people to read before they publish their books. They have readers give them input so they can make their books better. While I might do that in the future, I have not done that yet. At least not much. Instead, I just write and publish, write and publish. Now, I am seeing if anybody likes them. It is funny. I have only heard back from one person so far on this batch of books (one of my aunts said she likes my writing). Oh sure, it has not been very long since I gave out these latest books, but I do wonder if any of my friends or relatives have any thoughts about the books. In fact, I usually wonder how bad they think my stuff is. It is not insecurity or anything like that. (I actually like hearing the bad stuff.) I just wonder.

At any rate.

As much as I wonder what people think about my books, I also think it is curious that many of the people I have given books to want me to sign them. I do not think it is that they believe I will be famous one day and so they want to have a book that they can point to proving that they know me. I think it is just a thing you do when you have the author of the book right there.

Okay. One person I know wants my signature in case I get famous. He has a bookshelf with signed books. He said that he reads the books, but then they go on the hallowed shelf. Authors he knows. Or at least authors who have signed his books. He can point to the books and say that he knew the authors when they were not famous authors. Or he knew them well enough to get their signatures. Or something like that.

I suppose I understand that sentiment. Being able to point to a book that the author signed way back when said author was just an aspiring writer. Or at least a writer who was aspiring to have his or her books sell enough copies that people actually know the author’s name. I suppose it is a better story than saying you stood in line for three hours to get a famous author’s signature in a book that you love.

At any rate.

I am always taken aback when people want me to sign books I have written. Whether I gave them the book or they bought the book. I suppose it is just natural. We want to know that there is some connection between us and the author of any book. Even if that connection is just that we both relate to the story somehow. And the author’s signature is just another way to get that connection. At least that seems to make sense.

Still, until I have a book signing event, I will be surprised when people ask me to sign a book I wrote. I will still ask them, “You want me to sign my book?”

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Please Keep Your Seatbacks Upright Always · 13 July 2024

My wife, the Mindboggling Mrs. Miyoshi, thinks that airplane seatbacks should always be kept in the upright position.

Whether or not you have ridden in an airplane lately, you are probably familiar with the line, “Please place your seatbacks and trays in the upright position preparing for takeoff.” (Or landing.) Well, in the Mindboggling Mrs. Miyoshi’s mind, those seatbacks should always be in the upright position. Especially, if you have somebody sitting behind you. Which is always, since every flight seems to be filled to the gills. No seat is left unfilled. People are packed into planes like sardines. Well, you get the picture. There are always people in front of, behind, and beside you. So when those seatbacks are allowed to be reclined (ever so slightly), you get squished. Or at least practically so. Especially, if you do not recline.

As I was thinking about this, I realized that even if everybody in a column of seats, from front to back, reclined, there would still be one person who is squished beyond all recognition. That person in the very back row does not get to recline. So he or she gets the short end of the stick. Or seat, as it were. Squish!

Now, I am not saying that the Mindboggling Mrs. Miyoshi was thinking of the people in the back row when she said that nobody should be allowed to recline, but she might have been. After all, she is empathetic. And she certainly knows that she does not want the person in front of her to recline. Partly because she does not want to recline. Especially since reclining herself would put her closer to the person behind her. (Which is a completely different story.)

Actually, I am not sure which is worse. Being squished by the person in front of you because that person is reclined, or reclining to avoid being squished and getting closer to the person behind you. There are lots of reasons not to be closer to the person behind you, not the least of which is that you are closer to that person’s conversation. (Only part of the other story.) Sheesh.

But when you really think about it, airline seats are reclining anyway during at least half of the flight. The plane is tilting backward during takeoff and when cruising, that is most of the flight. Right up until it is ready for its landing descent, at which time the seats are supposed to be back to their upright position anyway. So why do you need to recline the seats at all? You really don’t. The plane reclines them automatically.

Now, I must admit that I figured this out in my own situation too. After the Mindboggling Mrs. Miyoshi figured out how to recline her own seat (even though she did not want to recline), she made sure that my two seconds of reclining were over by pushing my button. And to my surprise, since the person in front of me was not reclined, it did not make any difference to me. I was comfortable. I had enough room and was reclined enough due to the inclination of the airplane.

Which just goes to show that not only is the Mindboggling Mrs. Miyoshi always right, but that she is especially right when she forces you to keep your seatback in its upright position. Thank you for your cooperation in always keeping your seatback in its upright position.