Page 28 | MediocreMan

Too Many Thoughts · 17 February 2024

Sometimes I have too many thoughts. Just not a lot to write about.

I am sure that we all have times when our minds are full of thoughts. Thoughts of good things or bad things or things in between. Just tons of thoughts. So many thoughts that you cannot keep track of them or maybe even make sense of them all. That is not my problem today. Today, I just have too many thoughts that drag me away from writing a coherent blog post.

Now, lest you say that I rarely write a coherent blog post… Hmm. Now that I think of it, I may or may not write coherent blog posts. Actually, I think that they are usually coherent. They just wander from topic to topic. Not that a single blog post wanders (although that has happened). I just tend to wander from topic to topic on my site. Which is why I call my site, Musings of MediocreMan. (And, yes. At least one person out there keeps telling me to keep striving to become mediocre.)

Where was I? Oh yes. One topic. Or was it too many thoughts?

I am not sure that I like having too many thoughts. It is disconcerting in some ways. It is like trying to turn the faucet off, but the water keeps coming. Thoughts keep coming and coming and coming. You get the idea. Thankfully though, I am able to sleep. Maybe not well, but close. Still, getting close to restful sleep is not restful. At least not too restful.

I wonder how I used to relax. I wonder how I used to be able to not have too many thoughts in my mind. Maybe it is just that there are so many problems in the world and in life. Maybe it is that there are too many worries and doubts and fears. Which is funny. None of those things have ever been a problem for me before. I only used to be a worrywart when I was a kid. My mom used to say, “Stop being a worrywart.” Which is a strange word, by the way.

Think about it. What is a worrywart anyway? A wart that worries? That is odd in and of itself. What would a wart need to worry about? Getting taken off? I suppose so. But why do people say that others are worrywarts? It is so confusing.

(Pause. I just looked it up. If the internet is to be believed, worrywart was originally a comic strip character named Worry Wart. Which is funny. All those times my mom told me not to be a worrywart, she was telling me not to be a comic strip character. Okay. Words change and morph their meanings. She was just telling me not to worry.)

Okay. I guess that I have bungled this blog post. Words are on the page, but I am not sure they make any sense whatsoever. I guess that is what happens when I have too many thoughts, but none to write about.

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Writing Conundrum · 10 February 2024

I find myself in a writing conundrum when I have many ideas and many projects.

Before I get too far, I must say that I am not complaining. Not one little bit. For my writing conundrum is not a bad conundrum to have. You see, I find it odd that when I have a lot of writing projects, or even just one project, I end up putting less effort into my blog posts. Which probably does not really get noticed. After all, I am still striving to become mediocre. So having blog posts that sound like older ones or having blog posts that are less than mediocre should come with the territory. After all, I am MediocreMan™.

Still, I like to put out at least some quality work. Work that I am proud to call mine rather than a blog post that is good enough for this week.

The thing is, I still remember the advice of a friend and colleague. One who is continuing on his own writing journey. He told me that I need to just ship it. Write it, meet the deadline, then ship it. Regardless of the quality.

I heeded that advice long ago and still adhere to it. Which might be why I am still striving to become mediocre instead of being mediocre already. Or maybe even just a little better than mediocre. I do wonder though whether that mediocre line is a moving target that I might never achieve.

Anyway.

I am actually glad that I follow that just ship it advice. After all, if I waited to post what I thought was a masterful blog post, I would still be waiting. And I would not have the few faithful readers (both real and imaginary) that I do have. (I thank you both.)

But back to my writing conundrum.

It is odd that when I am working on some writing project, I find my blog is an interruption. Sometimes it is a welcome interruption. Sometimes it is a nuisance. Well, not really a nuisance. An inconvenience. Well, not really even an inconvenience. It is just that I find myself thinking that I need to be writing one thing when I am writing the other. I love to blog and I love to write stories. So the one interrupts the other in some ways. I find myself having divided loyalties. Or more to the point, I find that I am shifting gears all the time. I get up to speed on one project, and then I either get another idea, a deadline looms, or I need to work on a different project. Divided loyalties indeed.

Like I said, I am not complaining. Far from it. I love having lots of ideas. Book ideas, screenplay ideas, blog ideas, essay ideas, poem ideas, song ideas. Any writing ideas. They are all great. They all keep my creative juices flowing. True. They all take my attention. But none get my undivided attention for too long. Which might be a good thing. Moving my focus from one thing to another probably helps me keep the ideas fresh.

I must say that I am pleased that I have a writing conundrum. After all, having many things to write is a good problem to have. Even if it is perplexing. Like I said in the beginning. I am not complaining about my writing conundrum. After all, having many ideas is a good writing conundrum to have.

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My Magnum Opus (So Far) · 3 February 2024

I just published my magnum opus. My greatest, most magnificent book.

I am not sure that I can really call my latest book my magnum opus. At least not yet. But I am going to do so for now. One, because even though it is not that long of a book, it is probably my best work so far. Two… Hmm… I am not sure I have a two. At any rate, I do think that The Church Underground is my best book so far. Hopefully, it will not be my best book ever. Hopefully, I will write a better one later. But who knows. All I can do at this point is look at the body of work I have produced so far. And I think this one is the best of those. (Even if I am still striving to be mediocre.)

The Church Underground is a piece of fiction. It is not about a church being underground. At least not in a physical sense. It is about a people being forced underground because society has made them into outlaws. It is a story about persecution, but that is not its main point. The main point is that it is not what people label themselves that is important, it is how people think and act that matters. There is an old song that we used to sing in youth group that says, “They will know we are Christians by our love.” Labels do not make people who they are. Their words and their actions show their true natures.

It is funny. I think this book has been bubbling in my head for many years. The back cover of the print version and the description say that the book came about from a thought and a question. The thought: “I would follow Jesus even under the threat of my own life. The question: “Would I be strong enough to follow the Lord even under the threat of my children’s lives? Especially, if I did not know whether they were following Him or not.”

This thought and question brought the book to life. It was not a fun book to write. I had a difficult time writing a murder scene. No. I am not going to give away the plot of the book, but you might be able to guess some of it through the description so far. I give a warning in the description and on the front of the book that it contains murder scenes of children and other innocent people. I know. That gives away a little more of the book, but I wanted to make sure people knew that they were not getting a nice quaint story from an author that nobody ever heard of. Except, of course, those few readers (both real and imaginary) who read my blog and/or other books I have written.

I do not have any illusions about how this book, my magnum opus (so far), will do in the marketplace. I hope that a few people read it. And I hope those few do more than enjoy it. I hope they think about it. I hope they want to investigate more about who Jesus is. I hope they want to know more about the real people who have enough faith to follow Jesus even when they or their families might lose their lives for that faith.

I started writing this blog post thinking that it would be a piece to promote my newest book. But I hope that it does what I want to do with all my life. I hope that it and the books that I write and the words that I say and the things that I do all glorify God. For that is my purpose in life. I want to shine my light before people so that they might look to see whose light I am reflecting.

So whether or not you read any of my published books, I hope that my magnum opus (so far) and my life reflect God’s love.