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Just the Watcher · 14 October 2023

I am just the watcher when I write stories.

It might seem strange to think about, but I really just record what is happening in my mind when I write stories. I create the characters and put them in situations and watch to see how they get to the ending that I know is going to happen. I might help the story along the way here and there, but for the most part, I just watch.

Which is a strange notion. Think about it. Writers are supposed to be creators. We are supposed to know what is happening when we write. We are supposed to know the story arc before it happens. At least that is what I always thought. Before I started writing much.

When I started writing in earnest, I wrote about stuff that I had already lived. Or at least a fictionalized telling of it. That is what my series Autobiography of a Sixth Grader is. I just tell the stories I remember from my childhood. Of course, I took a lot of literary license writing them, but I still just watched from the comfort of my chair in front of the keyboard. I still just wrote down the story as I watched it unfold.

That is amazing to think about. Not that I am amazing. I am just amazed at my own process. I write some notes about characters. Who is who and what do they do and how many kids do they have and how are they related to other characters. Even what situations they find themselves in. I do not even write all those notes at the beginning. I just write them as I need to remember what I wrote before.

The interesting thing about just recording what I am watching is that I tend to go through the emotions of those I am watching. I tend to feel the heartbreak and sadness. Sure, I get to feel the joy too, but stories are not all just sunshine. They often run the emotional gamut. Which means that my emotions get to run the gamut too. Happiness, sadness, elation, pain, suffering, heartbreak, and on and on it goes.

Which is why it is nice to be done with a story. I do not need to be the watcher for a while. I can just be me again instead of just the watcher. I can just write my blog as I read through and edit my stories. No need to go through all the emotions. Just get out that red pen and start slashing.

But when all the slashing and patching is done, it will be time for another story. It will be time to go back and just be the watcher.

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Writing Letdown · 7 October 2023

There is a certain letdown when I finish a writing project, like a tire that has lost its air due to a slow leak. Sssssss.

It may or may not be an apt comparison, but writing can be like a slow leak. At least for me. I have this great energy when I start a project. It is fresh and new. And I can keep that energy up as long as the project is going. But when the story is finished, I see that the tire is flat. All the air has drained out due to some small leak.

Not every project is like that mind you. It just seems that there are some projects that just leave me with little to no energy when they are finished. Perhaps it is just that the mental and emotional energy of the story has sapped my strength. In fact, I barely had enough energy to finish the latest story. It pretty much wrote itself, except the end was flat. But I will fix it. Either in a couple days or after the first read through.

Which is an interesting change in metaphors. After all, air is not really the energy in a tire. It is just what keeps the rubber on the road. The energy comes from the engine. So maybe writing projects are more like running a marathon (which I have never done). By the time you finish, your energy is gone. The writing, writing, writing takes all your energy so that you can barely cross the finish line.

At any rate.

All that is to say that I finished what seemed to be a big project. It did not take that long to write, but it took every writing moment to finish. The interesting thing is that it took some turns that I did not anticipate. I guess that usually happens to me. My stories rarely turn out the way I envision them. Oh they start out the way I imagined and they end pretty close to how I thought they would, but the twists and turns that the story takes to get there are often not how I thought would happen along the way.

Maybe that is where the energy sap comes from. I do not so much create the story as I follow it along wherever it might lead. And in following, I must keep up with the characters and what they are thinking and feeling. I must get in their heads. I must feel their emotions. And that is tiring. Thinking and feeling for myself is tiring enough. Thinking and feeling for others, even fictional others, is exhausting.

I suppose that is the letdown at the end of a writing project. I can stop thinking and feeling for all the characters in my project. I can stand up after crawling across the finish line. I can pump the air back into my tires. And I can recharge my batteries as I get ready for the onslaught of emotions as I start my next project. Hummm. (Or whatever sound a battery makes when it is charging.)

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Hyper-Focused · 30 September 2023

There are times when I get hyper-focused and concentrate on only one thing.

I do not write for a living at this point in my life. Of course, if you have been reading my blog for long, you realize that there is no way I could be making a living writing. Even if I had sold a copy of each of my books. Which I have not. But even if I had, I would still not be making enough money with my writing to make a living at it. Yes, it is still a dream. A dream that I am working toward, but still a dream.

Speaking of which.

Dreams are important. They help us to move in a certain direction. But if you are not working to fulfill that dream, it is just wishful thinking. If you do not have goals associated with those dreams, they are just notions that can be dismissed with a wave of the hand. So in order to make dreams a reality, you need to work.

The other thing about dreams is that you need to let other people in on your plan. You need to have somebody ask you about your dream every once in a while. “How much have you worked toward your dream lately?” After all, if nobody knows it is your dream, how can anybody help you accomplish it?

Oh. And if you love the Lord, you ought to include Him in your plans too. Make sure that your dreams align with His plans.

But where was I? Ah yes. Hyper-focused.

I am hyper-focused right now. Hyper-focused on finishing a writing project. Which means that my blogging is taking a back seat in the writing train. A far back seat. It is like when I used to write my blog one day and post it that same day. Usually in less than an hour. Those were the days. I was hyper-focused those days too. On getting out the door with all the kids and their supplies that they needed to be at whatever soccer game or other activity we were going to be late to. Yes. Those were the days. Eat, sleep, try to breathe. Make sure the boys were taken care of. And write when everybody was asleep and there was nothing else I needed to do.

Now, I can be hyper-focused on my most current writing project. I can put all my writing time into it. Which does mean that my blogging quality goes down. Not that it could get much worse. Yes. I am still striving to become mediocre.

Ah well.

I am not sure that I really said what I was going to say. I suppose when it comes down to it, being hyper-focused on one thing just means that everything else is a distraction. But you, dear readers, are never a distraction. Now, back to being hyper-focused.