My Wife Does NOT Dress Me · 15 November 2025
Contrary to what I seem to say, my wife does not dress me. At least not every day.
I have been known to say, “My wife picked this out,” when talking about a shirt I am wearing. Because, let’s face it, I am not anything near to a fashionista or clothes horse. I am just a slobby guy who can barely figure out what colors go together. Okay. Maybe that is a bit of an exaggeration. I do know that there are some combinations that just do not work. Like plaid on plaid. Unless, of course, you are that special person who can wear anything and look good. Which, by the way, I am not.
At any rate.
When I say, “My wife picked this out,” I am quick to point out that she did not pick it out for me to wear on that particular day. I mean, c’mon. My wife does not dress me. At least not each day. She might tell me what to wear if we are going somewhere, but what wife does not do that. Even if it is just, “I don’t know about that choice.” Which translated means, “You are NOT going out in public with me in that outfit, buster.” But that is a completely different story, which I will probably not ever write because I do not have a doghouse to be in.
I must say that I actually did not realize what I was saying the first time I told somebody that my wife picked my shirt. It happened when I got a comment from somebody about a particular shirt that I was wearing one day.
“Hey, that’s a nice shirt.”
“Thanks. My wife picked it out.”
I got this strange look that said, “Your wife dresses you? And you’re a grown man?”
Okay. I did not really get that look. At least not the first time I said it. But I am pretty sure I got it the second time I said, “My wife picked it out.” I mean how could somebody not resist the look if not the words? Yes, I am sure there are those who have great self-control, but I do not know that many.
At any rate.
After I thought about it some, I realized that I needed to change my words. Or add to my words.
“My wife chose this shirt. Or my wife bought this shirt. I actually do dress myself each day. And yes, I even get the colors to coordinate every once in a while. And no. I am not a moron. At least not usually.”
Which is the whole point of this particular blog post. I just wanted to say that I am not a moron. At least not usually. Even when I say, “My wife picked this out,” when somebody compliments my clothes. Oh yeah. And the other point is that she does not dress me every day. (Which, by the way, she would not take credit for most days anyway.)
© 2025 Michael T. Miyoshi
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