Grief Conversation · 20 December 2025
I was talking with my Fellowship of Christian Students about hardship the other day. It can be a difficult talk. After all, many people say that they do not believe in God because of evil in this world. Which is a different conversation and yet it is also the same conversation (even though I will not go there now).
When we have grief, pain, and hardship in our lives, we tend to wonder, “Why me? Why now?” We might even ask, “Why, Lord?” Or even scream at the Lord, “Why!”
I cannot answer for the Lord, and I will not even try. All I know is that I can look to God’s word to see the things that I should do. One of the greatest examples of both what to do and what not to do is found in the book of Job.
Now, Job was a man of great substance. He was also a man of God. He was righteous. Even though he was not without fault. Anyway. Job was somebody you would want as a neighbor and friend.
Well, Job came on hard times. Really hard times. He lost his family (except for his wife). He lost his fortune. He even lost his health. At nearly the same time. He was the epitome of bad luck. But it was not Karma. It was not his just desserts. It was a test. You see God gave the devil permission to take away everything from Job to see if he would curse God because of how bad his life would become. The devil was sure that Job’s character was not really character. According to the devil, Job’s character was a facade, he was just praising God because Job was fortunate.
Job’s wife gave him some interesting advice. She told Job to curse God and die. That was probably what others would do. They would say that if God was going to take away everything, they would turn their backs on God. But of course, that was not what Job did. Job said, “The Lord gives. The Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.” (Paraphrase)
Well, Job’s friends heard of his plight and went to visit him. They even sat in the dirt with him for seven days without saying a word. Which, I told my students, was the best thing that they could do with a hurting friend. Just be there. Just sit beside your friend and be there.
Of course, Job’s friends could not leave well enough alone. They had to dissect the whole situation. “What have you done to incur the wrath of God, Job? Surely, you are getting your just desserts.” (Again, a paraphrase.)
Now, not only was this not the thing to do then, it is not the thing to do now. Especially since we know the end of the story. Job did nothing to deserve his fate. He had been faithful to God. So faithful in fact that the devil thought he should do something about it. So faithful that he passed the test given him by that very same devil.
I did not tell my students the whole story of Job. I asked how many had heard it before and most had. So I just told them that Job’s friends did the best thing they could do in their situation. At least until they opened their mouths. They were just there. And we can follow that example and just be there for our friends and neighbors and relatives who need us to just be there when tragedy strikes.
I have thoughts about evil and tragedy and misfortune, especially when they are not the consequences of our actions. But sharing those thoughts to those in the midst of those things is not the time. I just want to be there. And that is what I told my Fellowship of Christian Students the other day. Just be there for those who are hurting.
© 2025 Michael T. Miyoshi
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