Fart Genetics · 21 November 2009

I must apologize for writing about farts again. While it is a harmless subject, it, like other bodily functions, is not often discussed in polite company. Nevertheless, I must bring up the subject again because it is humorous.

Even though I think it appalling to lay blame at any time, I feel that I must absolve myself from any fault of my son’s fart behavior. While I admit that Thing 3’s propensity toward farting lots is genetically my fault, I know that I have tried to keep the vulgar fart behaviors away from all my boys. Neither Thing 1 nor Thing 2 asks people to pull his finger when he needs to fart or burp because I have not done that around them. I do not know how long it has been since I engaged in behavior like that, but I do know I have not sat on anybody’s head to fart since I was a teenager (or maybe just a bit older). Thankfully, my older boys usually do not have that sort of inappropriate behavior. They just like to talk about bodily functions at the table with their mom, but that I have already written that story (Poop at the Dinner Table).

Thing 3 does not yet know about the “Pull my finger” burp and fart trick, but he does like to point and shoot. I guess it is probably a third grade thing. Then again, when the other boys were third graders they did try to fart in somebody’s general direction. Maybe they were just not as gassy. Or maybe Thing 3’s peers are more vulgar than those of the other two. Or maybe genes can skip generations.

While I am not absolutely positive, I am pretty sure that my dad was the one who taught my brothers and I the “Pull my finger” trick. He might have only done it once or twice, but we three boys got plenty of fun from it. I remember being gassy in empty rooms and running to where my brothers were so I could stick out my finger to one of them. They usually obliged with a pull and promptly passed out from the odor. So I never taught the trick to my kids because I had already had all my fun from having people pull my finger as a gassy kid.

That is why I think that the fart on you gene skipped from my dad to my son. If genes that let a person tell jokes can pass over a generation (Telling Jokes and Genetics), then certainly a gene that gives a person the propensity to want to fart in the company of others could do the same. Or maybe, the gene can be overcome by one generation, but still passed on. So to speak. That is probably the better explanation. (My wife and other women would probably say that the Y-chromosome is the culprit, which is probably true, but that assertion will not be mentioned here. At least, not again.)

I am sure that someday Thing 3 will get over his need to fart in my general direction (or even on me which is much more fun in his mind). It will be quite the relief when he does. Still, he will surely pass on the fart gene to his children. He might even encourage the behavior with his own actions. Thankfully, it will be his problem then.

I am sure that this will not be the last time I write about farts, since farts and farting are amusing subjects. Still, I do apologize to those who do not like to talk about noisy and/or odorous bodily functions. Even though I sometimes write about such non-polite subjects, I hope that you still keep reading. And even though most farts stink, I hope you do not think my writing does.

© 2009 Michael T. Miyoshi

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