Better Late Than Never · 30 March 2010

I have not missed very many deadlines for my column in the two and a half (or so) years that I have been writing it. True the deadline is self-imposed, but I still feel the need to meet it week after week.

This past week, I was not able to meet my deadline and even though I have topics in the pipeline, I figured that I better get something out sooner rather than later. And since I do not like to work on Sunday, I guess today is the day I put out something short and sweet. Like a joke.

Since I cannot tell a joke live to save my life, I figured that I could retell a joke online. I am not sure who wrote it, but I figure that I can add a little something to it and not worry about copyrights and such too much. So here goes nothing.

A man is driving down the road when his breaks give out. (Not sure how that happens so often in jokes and movies.) He is coming up to a fork in the road and there is no place to go but to the left or to the right. To the right is a switch that if hit would cause the end of the world (pretty cosmic). To the left is his best friend (also pretty cosmic). The man must make the choice which way to turn. (I am not sure why he cannot just go off the road and miss both, but I suppose that would ruin the joke.) He turns to the left and runs over his best friend. After his car stops, somebody asks how he could make such a difficult choice. The man replies, “Well, better Nate than lever.”

I know that it is a corny joke that would only garner polite laughter from somebody giving an acceptance speech for some award. Still, as I was thinking of what to write for this late column, I could only think of this joke. Rather this joke’s punch line. “Better Nate than lever. Better Nate than lever. Better Nate than lever.” It is a silly joke but one that I know both the setup and punch line instead of one or the other. The problem is that I could not get the timing right, even if the opportunity presented itself. Besides if nobody laughs after I put it online, I will not know. It is like that question about a tree falling and nobody hearing it. If a joke is told on the internet and nobody laughs, is it a flop?

So now, I have two apologies to make to my faithful readers (both real and imaginary). I apologize for being late. And I apologize for telling a lame joke. (And a third apology might be due to the originator of the joke for calling it lame.) I apologize to one and all.

I hope that not meeting my self-imposed deadline has not caused more grief than the reading of this column. And the joke included in its lines.

© 2010 Michael T. Miyoshi

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