Cell Phones? We Don’t Need No Stinking Cell Phones · 11 April 2010

Maybe I really can claim to have joined the 21st Century now, because I finally did it. I finally bought a cell phone. It is just a pay-as-you-go phone, but it is a cell phone.

I am not really happy that I got the phone. I was content living in the latter part of the 20th Century before cell phones were in everybody’s pockets. As a matter of fact, I was so happy thinking that I might be the last person with a cell phone that I wrote a column about it several years ago. Now, I am just one of the masses connected to the rest of the world at all times. Or at least when I can remember to turn the phone on.

Recent circumstances brought about my leap into the relatively new century. If you are a faithful fan (real or imaginary), you have read about my recent gas problems. Running out of fuel on the way to work probably would not have been the straw to break the camel’s back, but my wife, The Mindboggling Mrs. Miyoshi, and I had just talked about those rare times when she wished I had a cell phone. She said it would be nice for me to have one when she needed to get a hold of me when I was away. And it would be nice to have one in case of emergencies. That conversation, especially since it was just the night before, was one of the first things I thought about when my truck spluttered and coughed and finally ran out of gasoline.

The first thought was of course, “Why am I so stupid?” (which cannot be answered in the few words that I write here, but may be attempted at some later time). The answer is probably not in the infamous Y-chromosome that all males have and that The Mindboggling Mrs. Miyoshi blames for many of the mishaps that happen in our mostly male household. While it is certainly a contributing factor, being a dumb guy is not the only reason for my stupidity. So I did not really expect an answer to my question of my own stupidity that day just as I am not offering an answer today.

I am not so stupid as to totally reject change, but I neither do I embrace it. Even so, I am certain that my dislike of change has been part of my problem with getting a cell phone. After all, I have not even tried to change the fuel sensor in my truck. It is not a difficult thing to do, I just have not done it. I suppose not changing my fuel sensor is not really sufficient piece of evidence to show my desire to keep things as they are, but perhaps wanting to stay disconnected a little bit is.

As I said, I never really wanted a cell phone. It is like a modified line from the movies, “Cell phones. We don’t need no stinking cell phones!” And for the most part, I really don’t. I do not need to text people or keep in constant contact with anybody. I certainly do not need to be talking all the time. And although I have talked on the phone while driving, I do not need to make a habit of it. Mostly though, I do not need to pay the monthly charges for something I rarely use. So besides needing one in case of emergencies or to get a message to or from my wife, I never really needed a cell phone. And I probably still do not. Except for that rare occasion when I need to be rescued.

I am happy to join the 21st Century even if according to The Mindboggling Mrs. Miyoshi, I have come kicking and screaming. Even if it is long after my parents, siblings, and the rest of the civilized world joined. Even if it means that I have a little more convenience and unfortunately connection in my life. But just because I now have a cell phone, I will still not use it much. At least not until I figure out how to turn it on. Maybe I am still stuck in the 20th Century.

© 2010 Michael T. Miyoshi

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