“You Are Such a Liar!” · 9 April 2011

My wife, The Mindboggling Mrs. Miyoshi, does not seem to understand good humor. After all, she rarely reads my blog. However, I always know when she does read it, because regardless of where I am, I hear her shouting at the top of her lungs, “You are such a liar!”

(For those of you who actually know my wife, do not send this to her or I might spend more time in the dog house than I usually do for saying dumb stuff. After all, saying dumb stuff is one thing, but putting dumb stuff on the internet is quite another.)

I first got this quite unexpected reaction after The Mindboggling Mrs. Miyoshi read my blog about her being perfect and organic. She was so incensed by what I wrote that she wrote a comment on my website about how I did not even come close to the truth in that story. Unfortunately, commenting for that piece was closed so she just commented on the closest one time-wise. Then, while she was still feeling that righteous indignation, she went to my Facebook fan page and added a comment to the link to the blog. I am sure that if I had had my twitter account at that time, she would have also told the twitterers or tweeters or whatever you call us, that I am a big fat liar. Even without a tweet, I am sure that all of cyberspace knows that The Mindboggling Mrs. Miyoshi thinks I lie on my blog. Of course, if they did not know that before, I guess they do now.

Consequently, I must clear up the misstatement that brought about such ire, even though I said it months ago. The Mindboggling Mrs. Miyoshi does not wear Birkenstocks. I repeat. She does not wear Birkenstocks.

I am truly relieved that I finally got that off my chest. It has been weighing heavily on my mind that my wife thinks I intentionally lie on my weekly blog. Not just about her footwear, but about our lives. Then again, the truth is that I probably do. After all, like most columnists and bloggers of the humorous ilk, I tend to use sarcasm, hyperbole, and exaggeration (yes, I know the last two are redundant, but I like lists to have three items or more) to “enhance” the stories of my life. Of our life.

For instance, it is not quite true that I can hear my wife scream, “Liar!” each time she reads my blog. If I am at work when she reads one, it only seems that I can hear her. I do not look up as if some audible voice came from our house for all to hear. I just know that she read it and a feeling of dread comes over me. The feeling that I did something wrong. The Mindboggling Mrs. Miyoshi is that voice inside my head telling me that I messed up. Again.

Still, I do not consider myself to be a liar. Then again, if I sometimes exaggerate a little to liven up a story, I guess I am. At least in the strictest sense of the word. In my own defense, I only exaggerate because I want to be a raconteur like my dad. Unfortunately, I cannot conjure up a story from my past and regale everybody with a lively recitation. At least not orally. But with a little time and effort, I seem to be able to give people an insight into my life (and hopefully, their own) with my writing. I can tell a story on paper (or in cyberspace) with a certain flair and flavor all my own. I can entertain my readers (both real and imaginary) with a few hundred well crafted, albeit somewhat misleading, words. In short, I am a storyteller. Which in the estimation of many, is really just another word for liar.

I guess that when it comes right down to it, The Mindboggling Mrs. Miyoshi is right. I am a big fat stinking outrageous contemptible liar. At least when I write. But when it comes right down to it, if the lie makes a good story, it is probably worth it.

© 2011 Michael T. Miyoshi

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