Stupid Internet Part 2 · 28 January 2017

Our youngest son, Thing 3, thinks the internet at our house is stupid. Spelled: S… L… O… W…

If you have ever seen that commercial about an internet service provider where the granddaughter posts or tweets about going to internet purgatory at her grandparents’ house, that is actually about our son. Except that he thinks his grandparents’ house is heaven and ours is hell.

Apparently, our internet is slow. Very slow. Glacial in fact. It must be true because unlike the girl in the commercial, our son likes to be at his grandparents’ house where things are speedy. My mom can surf the internet, watch Netflix, and download gigabytes of data all at the same time. Or at least my son can do all those things when he is at her house. He says it takes forever at home.

Thing 3 found out about this discrepancy a couple summers ago when he stayed with my parents to help out for a few weeks. (I am not sure exactly what he did there to help, but I do know that he watched lots of anime, stayed up till all hours of the morning, and downloaded games. He must have done something to endear himself to my parents though. They said he could come back.)

Thing 3 showed me the huge difference between the internet services this past Christmas break when we visited. Apparently, he downloaded some game which was some 20 gigabytes in size. And it did not take three days like it would have at home. Maybe a couple hours or so. And nobody else complained about lagging streaming content or anything like that. (We would have all been complaining at home.)

Of course, there is a solution. We could send Thing 3 to Grandma’s house for a while. Or if we all lived closer, we could just send him over whenever he had big downloads to do. Or if we had the big bucks, we could pay for faster internet. But we do okay. We only really need faster internet when everybody wants it at the same time. Otherwise, it is mostly fine for what we need. It is just all that online content must come through a small pipe at our house than at Grandma’s.


It is funny about that television commercial. I am just glad they did not ask my kid about his experience. I suppose either way it is an interesting perspective to show the world a silly first world problem about the stupid (spelled S-L-O-W) internet.

© 2017 Michael T. Miyoshi

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