Confused · 8 April 2017

I am a bit confused today. I do not know what to write.

There are days when I know exactly what I am going to write. There are days when all my projects seem to be going well and I know exactly what to say. There are days when the words just flow and I run past my allotted writing time because I do not want the flow to stop.

And then there are days when I just do not know what to write. When the words dry up. Actually, there are never days when the words dry up. I can pretty much always write about something. Or nothing. And even if the words do not make any sense the next day (or even the next minute), I can write. After all, there is no such thing as writer’s block. There is just writers deciding not to write. Or writers letting their emotions or circumstances dictate their actions. Which is, of course, still deciding not to write.

But that is not why I am confused. I am confused because I am not sure what projects need to be done now. I have completed a big writing project. And I have stalled on another short project. (I actually do not have enough source material to continue on that one.) And I have no idea what I am going to write about for my blog this week. (I was hoping to write about not jinxing Gonzaga. Then thought about and rejected writing about conspiracy theories.)

I also had some editing and other writing tasks to do this morning, but none of them got any words on paper. Which is why I am confused. Is writing always writing?

When it comes right down to it, there are only a few things a writer really needs to do to be considered a writer. Those things are write and write and write. Editing and publishing ought to be in the list too, but the main thing for a writer to be considered a writer is that he or she write. Period.

But for a published author, even a hack with a website like me, writing also includes editing and publishing (which includes posting). I have been doing a fair amount of editing this past week and that always confounds me because I want to be in the creative mode. I want to write. I want to believe that my first draft is good enough. I want to believe that what I write is polished right out of the gate. I want to believe that if it is good enough for the internet, it is good enough.

But I know better. No matter how many times I edit a piece, I can always make it better. Even after I post it. Or publish it. I can always do something to make it better. Even when it is finished. (That is another story.)

When it comes right down to it, I guess I am not confused today. I got some writing tasks done. And in the final analysis, I wrote something, even though I did not know what to write. Maybe I am a writer. (Even if I am still just striving to be a mediocre one.)

© 2017 Michael T. Miyoshi

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