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Choosing Not to Write · 27 October 2018





I am choosing not to write today. Which a bit ironic because here I am writing about not writing.


It is bizarre really. Writing about not writing should take all of one sentence. That first one, in fact. Which is really what I was going to do. I was going to write that I was not going to write. Period. Then, I was just going to close up the word processor and shut down the computer. That was going to be it for the day. Seven words. “I am choosing not to write today.” Now look how far I have come. Over one hundred words so far about choosing not to write.


Ah well. Such is the life of a writer. Even one trying to live up to his mediocre name. You try to do something right and it ends up all wrong. Or is that all write?


Anyway.


I sometimes wonder if those people who say that you make a choice and then the choice makes you are correct. I chose to be a writer a long time ago. Long before I became a blogger even. (Hard to believe I started this weekly writing thing in 2006 and this MediocreMan.com thing in 2007.) But here I am over a decade later still writing and posting weekly. I even decided somewhere in there to write six days a week so I could get other projects done and maybe even put out a decent product here on MediocreMan.com. Well, I have gotten some of those other projects done. I have over a dozen digital books out there on Amazon.com and I always have something on the back burner. (And the side burner and the front burner and the charcoal grill.) Like I said, maybe those people are right. You make the choice, and then the choice makes you. I made the choice to be a writer, and now I cannot stop writing. Even when I am choosing not to write.


There is something about writing though. I am compelled to do it. Whether I really want to or not. Usually, I do want to write. I really do. But there are some days when I just want to sit and veg in front of the TV or read or do something other than write. Yet it seems that no matter how hard I try to do something else, I cannot seem to write less than a few hundred words a day. Oh sometimes I do not get to write that much. There are days when I am looking for or making a picture for my blog and time runs out. Those are the days when I want to write, but I can only write a sentence or two about not having the time to write. Those days are much different than the ones when I do not want to write.


It is strange. I used to have lots of days when I did not want to write. Way back when, I would write a sentence or two about not feeling in the mood for writing. Or not having the time for writing. Or not having any ideas to write. Those were days when I would just write a sentence and be happy that I was in the habit of writing.


See, I wrote some words today.
I must be on the road to becoming a writer.
I am writing every day.


Yeah, right.


Stuff like that seems silly today. But those days are long gone. I always have something to say. Even when I have nothing to say. And it seems that hundreds of words must come out of my brain before my fingers are satisfied. (Six-hundred and fifteen before this, for those who are curious.)


It is a bizarre and ironic thing. I wrote over six-hundred words about choosing not to write today.

© 2018 Michael T. Miyoshi

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