Kimchi Is the Answer · 11 December 2021

If you have been wondering how to stop COVID, I have found the answer. Kimchi. (Which by the way, might also be spelled kimchee.)

(I want to say right up front that this is not a serious post. (You might even call it tongue in cheek.) And yes, I do write and post about serious stuff every now and then. This is just not one of those times. But back to the topic at hand. Or mouth.)

I did not like kimchi when I was younger. It was too smelly. All that garlic. And what is the deal with eating food that is fermented anyway? Doesn’t fermented just mean that the food is somehow rotting? I never thought about kimchi being fermented or about what fermenting really meant when I was a kid though. I just did not want to eat that smelly stuff.

Now as an adult, I love kimchi. Okay. Love might be a strong word, but I certainly do enjoy eating the stuff. The thing is, unless you grew up with it (whether you ate it or not) or read about its health properties or are drawn to eat new and exotic things, you might never eat kimchi.

But I have a new reason to eat kimchi. It is the key to beating COVID.

I know that COVID is a sensitive subject. It is serious business. Especially for those with health factors that make contracting the disease much more lethal than for the average person. It has also been a polarizing issue when it comes to vaccinations and quarantines and all those other precautions. But one thing is certain. Staying away from people is a way to help ensure you do not get COVID.

Which is where kimchi comes in.

Whether you are supposed to stay three feet away or six feet away or even farther away from each other, eating kimchi will help. After all, if you eat kimchi all the time, you probably sweat garlic. You certainly breathe it. Just ask the people who live with you. If they do not eat kimchi all the time, they can certainly smell your garlic breath. At least that is what I have been told.

So if you want people to stay away from you, just eat enough kimchi to keep them beyond arms length or breath length away. They will stay away voluntarily just to keep from you breathing on them. Whether you are breathing on them through a mask or not. And if staying away from each other is one of the keys to not getting COVID, you will have accomplished your goal by eating kimchi. People will certainly stay away.

There is one problem with my solution though. If everybody eats kimchi to keep everybody else away, nobody will really care that much. Everybody would have kimchi breath and garlic sweat. Which would mean that people would not necessarily stay away from each other due to the kimchi. So maybe it is not such a great idea. Ah well.

Kimchi is a wonderful food, but perhaps it is not really the answer to staying healthy. At least not in terms of keeping each other away from each other. Still, if you want to sweat garlic and have kimchi breath, people might stay away from you a little more than usual. (Unless of course, you eat kimchi all the time already.)

Like I already said, kimchi is a wonderful food. It might even be its own food group. But unlike my original claim, it is not the cure for COVID. It might not even be the answer to keeping people away from you. Regardless, everybody should at least try kimchi.

© 2021 Michael T. Miyoshi

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