In a Writing Rut · 4 June 2022
I seem to be in a writing rut.
I suppose that some writers would welcome being in a writing rut. That rut being writing every day. Posting every week. Having a bunch of unfinished projects. I suppose that is not such a bad rut to be in. But it is still a rut.
The worst thing about being in a rut is that the sides of the rut seem so steep. No matter how hard you turn the steering wheel, the tires do not turn. They are stuck in the rut. They just keep going forward. But going forward in a rut like mine is not so bad. I just keep writing. And writing. And writing. Not so bad for a writer.
The thing is… I do not feel like I am getting anything done. I do not feel like I am writing anything important. Oh sure. Some of the stuff I am writing is good stuff. Or at least it feels like good stuff. But you never really know. Rather, I never really know. I have my friends and faithful readers who tell me that they read my blog or they saw my post. Or maybe even that they read one of my books. But still. I wonder whether writing what I write makes any difference.
I suppose that is where the rut comes in. The rut is not really that I am stuck writing. I love writing. Even when the writing I write is drivel. Even when the writing I write does not seem like it makes a difference. Even when the writing I write does not seem to have any reach. The rut is that I have no idea if my writing even matters. (I think I already said that.)
The thing is… Life is like that. All of life. We may not know whether we made a difference in our kids’ lives until they are adults (if then, even). We may not know whether we made a difference in our professional lives until after we leave the profession. Or at least the particular company. We may not know whether we made a difference with our writing lives until somebody says that they miss seeing the weekly print edition. Or makes some such comment.
Which is an interesting commentary. But it is a truism. We do not know how much something means to us until it is gone. Not that I am going anywhere. (I know. There are probably some people out there saying, “Darn.”) But it is so true that we do not miss something until it is gone. Whether we are talking about people or careers or hobbies or things or… Well, you get the picture. We do not miss the regular stuff until the regular stuff is gone.
Which brings me back to the beginning. Or maybe the middle. I suppose that I should not feel so bad that I am in a writing rut. I should appreciate that I can and do write every day. I should appreciate that I have something to say every day. (Or at least that I have some topic I can write about every day.) I should appreciate that I have one more day to write and breathe and live. (Yes. I thought I should throw a little positivity into my post.) I should appreciate the words I write whether or not I believe they are making any difference at all.
And I do. I appreciate that I can and do write. I appreciate that God has given me the gift of words. At least the written word. And when it comes right down to it, I am thankful that I am in a writing rut. Whatever that really means. Most of all, I am thankful for those readers (both real and imaginary) who keep reading.
Thanks for reading. Even when I am in a writing rut.
© 2022 Michael T. Miyoshi
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