Vulture · 21 October 2023

My friend and faithful reader, Marc, suggested that I write about how teachers are vultures. Just put things where everybody knows they are up for grabs and they are gone in a flash.

I think that he may have been talking specifically about me. I am usually that guy who takes whatever is up for grabs. Especially free food. Which is a strange thing when you think about it. Just the notion of free food.

Free food is anything but free. Think about it. If you gorge on free food, then it sits in your gut and well… It sits in your gut. Probably because you ate too much. Or too fast. Or too much too fast.

By the way, when I say “you,” I mean me. But I do not think that I am alone. I think that others cannot resist free stuff. Especially free food.

I wonder what it is. The draw of free food. Perhaps it is just the treaty-ness of it all. It is a treat to eat. Or maybe because it is free, you want to eat more. I do not really know. What I do know is that whenever I have gone to an all you can eat place, I took it as a challenge. How much can I eat? Fish and chips during college? Eight or nine pieces. Plus the fries. And speaking of fries. I always need to get at least two orders of Red Robin endless fries. Yum.

The downside of eating like that though is the notion of an old commercial. “I can’t believe I ate the whole thing.” Rolling around after the feeding frenzy is always tough. But I just find free food too enticing. I guess I need to stop that.

It would be nice to remember the “I can’t believe I ate the whole thing” notion before I ate the whole thing. Remembering the pain of a full belly and the whole rolling around to get around would surely help me curtail my vulture tendencies. Maybe.

Ah well. I suppose I can try to stop being a vulture. I can stop hanging around the staff lounge waiting for people to drop their treats off. I can stop eating those endless fries after just one order. And I can stop asking people if they are done with that. (Which is a completely different story.)

I know that I am not the only one who acts like a vulture and eats all the treats when they come. But it sure seems like it. Thanks for the idea, Marc.

© 2023 Michael T. Miyoshi

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