MediocreMan

Her Piece of Pie · 15 August 2026

“It’s not what it looks like.”

Candace scoffs. “So what does it look like?”

“Uh…” Gary pauses. “Uh… Uh… Okay. Maybe it’s exactly what it looks like.”

Candace stands with her hands on her hips.

“Well, it looks like I am eating the last piece of strawberry cream pie. The one that you had a note on saying, ‘I am the last piece. I am Candace’s. Do NOT eat me! That goes especially for you, Gary!’ I really liked the personal note. And the all caps on ‘not.’ That was especially nice.”

Candace just glares at Gary.

“Okay. Let me explain, Sis.”

Candace continues glaring. She crosses her arms across her chest and thrusts her lower lip out.

“Yeah. Well, you see… Uh… I was scrounging around in the refrigerator for something to eat. You know, a midnight snack.”

“It’s six o’clock in the morning!”

“Yeah. Like I said, a midmorning snack.” Gary tries a smile, but gets no reaction. “Okay. So I was getting food. I set your piece of pie aside while I scrounged. You know. Just making sure that it was okay and everything. Then, I make a sandwich. Which was yummy, by the way. I am so glad that you’re the one who stocks the refrigerator. Anyway. So I’m putting everything back in the refrigerator when I look at your sad piece of pie. You know, it was sagging a bit. Leaking a bit. The bottom crust looked like it might be getting a bit soggy. It wasn’t out that long, but I thought that maybe I should clean it up a bit. You know, make sure that the crust doesn’t get any soggier.”

Candace has not moved, but Gary notices that her nostrils seem to be flaring and her breaths are heavier. Like she is trying to stay in control.

“Uh. So I peal back a bit of the plastic wrap and start moving some of the cream and strawberry juice away from the crust. You know, just using a fork to kind of move it away. Well, that doesn’t work very well, but I lick the fork. You know. To get some of that liquid. Not much, but it looked like it was going to help a bit. And it did. So I did some more. And that juice tasted so good.”

Candace is still doing the controlled breathing thing, and she starts tapping her foot.

Gary licks his lips which suddenly need the moisture. “Well, one thing led to another, and well… When I heard you coming down the stairs, I started wrapping up the rest of the piece. I thought maybe you’d think you ate a bite of it. Or a few bites of it. And well, you know the rest.”

Candace looks at the piece of pie Gary is holding out to her. Less than half of what she had is left. She screams, “Oh!”

“Ah, c’mon. Don’t call Mom.”

“It’s what I get for having siblings for roommates.”

“But you’re not gonna call Mom, right?”

[“It’s not what it looks like.”
Write a story which opens with this line.
DailyPrompt prompt submitted by BumbleBee]

Share on facebook

Comment

Just Throw Something Out There · 8 August 2026

I know that DailyPrompt is now my normal Plan B (and sometimes Plan A), but today I just wanted to throw something out there.

There are certainly times when I want to have a nice blog post but I have not quite gotten one ready, so I pull out a DailyPrompt piece that I enjoyed writing. I have a few to choose from these days. But when I do that, I have usually been on a roll and want to put one of those pieces on my blog. I have not been on a roll lately. At least not on DailyPrompt. I have either not been thrilled by the prompt or just not had the time or any number of other reasons (they might be excuses) to be on a DailyPrompt roll. Oh sure. I could have probably looked back on an earlier piece and pulled it out, but I thought I would go a different way today.

(The reason I need to go to Plan B (or is it C?) this week is because I had a plan for a different blog piece that just did not work out. I wanted to write something special that never came. At least not yet. But I am still hopeful. (Oh. By the way, sometimes I actually use DailyPrompt as Plan A because I like the piece so much.))

I am actually not fond of just throwing things out there. Really. I know it might seem like I often do, but I do not. I like to think things through and try to put out something worth reading. Really.

On the other hand, I actually have just thrown many blog posts out there. As my friend told me many years ago, “Just ship it.” So I do. I write something and put it out there. Even if it is not quite ready. After all, people will either love it or hate it or ignore it. It does not really matter. I have done what I set out to do. I have blogged. And that is what matters. Or at least that is what matters to me. Mostly.

You see, I do care about what I write, so pulling out Plan B or Plan C is not my ideal. Oh sure. I point to my own foibles and follies, which are now often just a dig at my writing, but I like to put out quality writing. Or at least what I think qualifies as quality writing. Sure. I do not have specific topics that I write about all the time. I mean, this is not a cooking blog or a specialty blog of any sort. I just write about life. I muse, or at least I like to think that I muse, about life. And when life does not give me a great blog post or when time runs out or when any number of factors rear their heads (ugly or not), then I go to plans B and C. And as you now know, Plan C is to just throw something out there.

Well, now that you know my process of blogging when I am not really ready to blog, you can determine for yourself whether I am using plan A, B, or C. Then again, the quality or topic or any number of aspects of my writing might confuse you. After all, it might appear to some readers (both real and imaginary) that Plan A is to just throw something out there.

Share on facebook

Comment

My Mountain Goat Niece · 1 August 2026

One of my nieces, Valentina, must be part mountain goat.

Now, I am not going to talk about genetics here or anything like that. After all, it would be absurd to think that one of my niece’s parents is actuallhy a mountain goat. No. I just want to talk about her ability to walk and run.

My brother and his daughters were visiting last week. We had a great time with them all. We ate and had fun and ate a lot more and had a lot more fun. Like I said, it was a great time together. But Valentina had work to do too. She had to keep up her training. She had to run. So naturally, I ran with her. One day. Thankfully, we only ran one day.

Valentina was supposed to run five miles on their first full day with us. So I told her that I would run with her, even though it might not be the whole way. We got up early and ran a while. Then I told her to run ahead to the top of a hill that we could not see yet. I walked a bit more, then waited for her to run back to me. Then, we ran some more and I had her run down a street to the end where there was a cul-de-sac a quarter mile down. I waited at the end of the street for her to return. Then, when we got back to the house, I told her that the loop around the house (which we had run in segments) was just under a mile. So I told her to run it one more time to get at least close to her five-mile target. She did and made her target. (It turned out that I ran about half of it. But that is a different story.)

Now running at the same pace forever does not make somebody a mountain goat. In fact, it was merely a preview of how much of a mountain goat Valentina really is.

The next day, we had planned on going on a hike. It turned out that not everybody went on the hike to Wallace Falls, but four of us did. Now, if you want to take an easy hike in Western Washington, pick somewhere other than Wallace Falls. (I had done it before, but did not remember it being so rigorous.) It is about three miles straight up to get to the top of the falls. Do not get me wrong, it is a wonderful view. (Actually, many wonderful views.) But the price of admission is steep. Very steep. (Please pardon the pun.) Well, my niece wanted to continue the hike to Wallace Lake. Her sister did not. And she probably saved my brother. (Which is another completely different story.) So Valentina and I continued our walk. Thankfully, it was mostly flat to the lake.

Getting to the lake was a bit anticlimactic. Oh sure, it was a nice lake, but there was not really much access to the shore. And the shore we did access was muddy. I, for one, do not need to see Wallace Lake again. Too much work to just see a lake and not really enjoy it. Still, we had lunch at the lake. (There was a picnic table.) Then, we walked back to the parking lot. Which was still a long way off. Longer than I thought. Much longer.

I forgot to mention that the day we hiked up to Wallace Falls and Wallace Lake might have been the hottest day ever. Okay. Probably not ever, but it was surely in the nineties during the hottest part of the day when we were in the sun. Not really your optimal hiking weather. Fortunately, we had the shade of the trees for most of the hike. Unfortunately, going downhill was hard on my body. Especially my feet. (Whoever thought that 5/8 minus rock for trails is a good thing does not know any barefoot or minimalist walkers or runners. Which is still another completely different story.)

Well, you have probably guessed that Valentina had no problems at any point in the hike. She bounded up the hill. She walked at a steady pace on the flats. She waited patiently for me on the downhill plod. I do not know if her respiration or heart rate ever increased during the whole trip. She just kept walking. No matter the terrain. No matter the steepness. No matter what. She just kept walking. Like I imagined a mountain goat would traverse the terrain. No thoughts of it being tough at all. Just walk. And walk. And walk.

Well, the end of the story is that we did make it. (Obviously.) We did not really know that it would be over a six-hour hike. Nor did we really think that we would walk the equivalent of a half marathon. (The other two hiked just over half that distance. Straight up and straight down.)

While I know that round is a shape, I will remember that I need to be in much better shape next time my niece comes to town and wants to go running or walking. And no, I will not tell her to go take a hike. I will go with her. Even if I know that I will still not be able to keep up with Valentina, my mountain goat niece.

Share on facebook

Comment

Older