Hoping Nobody Noticed · 7 February 2026
Have you ever ripped your pants and had to go around all day hoping nobody notices? Yeah. Me neither. Actually, it happened to me recently.
I was getting dressed for an event where I was going to be with students all day. It was an event where I was at least supposed to wear dress slacks and a nice shirt. Jacket and tie optional. I did not really want to wear my suit so I grabbed a pair of slacks, a dress shirt, a tie, and a sweater. It was cold, so I figured the sweater would be better than wearing my heavy jacket all day.
The interesting thing about my choice of slacks was that I grabbed a pair that I do not think I had worn in a long time. Years maybe. But still, they were a nice pair of black slacks. (By the way, did you ever wonder why they are a pair of slacks when there is only one? Two legs, but one thing? Yeah me neither.) I must admit that they were a little tight, but I attributed that to my overeating the night before. (Which is par for the course. But that is a different story. (And sorry for the pun. At least, if it did not work for you.)) So instead of deciding on a different pair, I just went with the old slacks. Did I mention that they were still nice? Or at least seemingly so?
Turns out that once we got to the event, I figured out that time had not been kind to my slacks. Everything was fine to start out with. I was walking around and interacting with people. Even sitting was fine. Turned out that things were not so fine when I dropped something and knelt to pick it up. Rrriiiiippp! I do not think anybody heard it but me. Still, I wondered what had happened. Did I rip out a seam? Could anybody see? How long were we going to be here? All day. And we had even really gotten started.
I longed for a home economics room, but I did not ask if there was one. In fact, I do not know that I have been in a high school with a home economics room since I was in high school. Many decades ago. So I just played it cool. Which just means that when I stood, I tried to ignore the draft on my backside. And I hoped that the rip was small enough that nobody would notice.
Well, everything was going along fine. When it was time, I made it to the room where I was going without incident. I even did what I was supposed to do, which was judge a presentation with another panel member. Well, I had to bend down from my seat to grab something that fell on the floor, when I heard my pants rip some more. Rrriiiiippp! Oh no! How big was this rip going to get? Could I even stand up?
After the last presentation, I asked my fellow judge whether I should walk around the rest of the day with my sweater and heavy coat wrapped around my waist so nobody would see my ripped slacks. He looked and said he did not see a thing. I trusted his judgment and breathed a sigh of relief. Even though I could feel the breeze coming through the rip.
I made it through the rest of the day without incident. Even though I was walking around in ripped slacks for five or six hours. Okay. I was sitting around in ripped slacks for most of that time. Still.
When I first ripped my slacks, I thought it was just a ripped seam. No big deal. Just sew it up. But after the second rip, I figured it was something more catastrophic. And it was. When I got home I saw that the fabric had frayed and torn. I do not know how anybody could have missed seeing the gigantic frayed hole, but I was thankful that nobody had. And even though I was grateful that nobody had seen my rear through my ripped pants, I had to write about the incident. To tell the world about my plight. Yes, I thought it would be a decent blog post. (But I will let you be the judge of that.)
If you ever happen to rip the seat of your pants out at the beginning of the day, I hope that you are able to repair them. Or change into something else. Or at the very least, not have anybody notice.
© 2026 Michael T. Miyoshi
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