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My Dwarf Name · 19 July 2025

The Seven Dwarfs do not live at my house, nor am I one of them. But if I was an addition to the Seven Dwarfs of fame, my name would be Grunty.

It seems that the seven dwarfs from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs fame are always on people’s minds. Or maybe just around me. I have been called, Sleepy and Dopey mostly, but I may have earned other names in my time. And yes, I mean earned.

I can sleep pretty much any time, any place. (I do not like to do so on the road though. And I tend to find a rest stop when I am too tired to drive.) But that notion of sleeping any time, any place has earned me the nickname Sleepy. Naps are serious things and they are not just for kids.

Also, I have also been known to say a dumb thing or two. Or to need somebody to explain a simple joke. Yes, I have been Dopey a time or two or seventeen.

I am sure that I have been Grumpy and Happy and Bashful and even Sneezy too. But I am sure nobody has ever called me Doc.

Which brings me to my current dwarf name. Grunty.

Now, I know that there is no eighth dwarf. And I know that if there was, his name would surely not be Grunty. But apparently, I am he. I am Grunty. No. I do not go to the gold, silver, or jewel mines with the others. I do not sing, “Heigh Ho, Heigh Ho, it’s off to work I go.” Although I might sing it every once in a while on my way to work. (Yes, I can be that cheerful.) Nor am I ever workin’ in a coal mine, goin’ down, down, down. (Oops. Wrong song.) But apparently, I am grunty. And being grunty means that I have earned that dwarf name.

I never noticed that I grunt a lot. And maybe I have not always done so. But apparently, I grunt when I do this and I grunt when I do that. Just doing mundane things like lifting dishes from the dishwasher to the cupboard. Or maybe just lifting my arms above my head. Or maybe even workin’ in a coal mine, goin’ down, down, down. Apparently, I grunt doing those things. So apparently, my dwarf name is Grunty.

I must say that I rather like having my own dwarf name rather than being referred to one of the seven famous dwarfs. I mean there are only so many times you can be called Dopey before you start to think that maybe you are dopey. I mean c’mon. Just because I place my glasses down somewhere and forget where I put them does not necessarily mean that I am Dopey. Or maybe it does.

Still, when all is said and done, I am glad that I have my own dwarf name now. I am glad that, even though it is not very flattering, my new dwarf name is Grunty.

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Bombs Bursting in Air · 12 July 2025

Independence Day 2025 is done and over with, and I am pretty much done and over with Fourth of July Celebrations.

Now, I am not a fuddy duddy. Or a stick in the mud. Or a naysayer. No bah humbug in me. Not really. I am just not that interested in fireworks anymore. Which is odd in and of itself.

When I was younger, I would love to shoot off firecrackers. We would throw them high in the air or as far as we could to see if they would explode in the air. Or we would hold those explosive cylinders between our fingers for as long as we could so we could throw them into the water and see them explode just above or just below the surface. It was great fun. Of course, we had a few of them explode in our fingers and by our ears too. Those hurt. Our fingers got cuts on them and our ears rung for what seemed like hours. But it did not matter, we just changed our technique and did not wait so long to throw them and we did not pull our arms back behind our heads when we threw them. Simple fix. Oh. And we did not throw ladyfingers. The adults used to ask, “You know why they call those ladyfingers, don’t you?” We would just nod that we did not. “It’s because they blow your fingers off.”

Well, I am not sure that it made any more sense then than it does now, but it did not matter. Those tiny firecrackers were louder than any other of the firecrackers that we got even though they were so much tinier. So we were not going to test out the adults’ theory. We were not going to lose any fingers. We didn’t mess with cherry bombs or anything bigger either. Those things would mess you up. And tying a bunch of them together? No siree. We were not going to lose fingers, hands, eyes, ears, or any other body parts messing with that kind of firepower.

Besides the firecrackers, the fireworks were fun too. We loved to see them fly up in the air and make their big flower shapes and see their bright colors. It was always great fun.

But even though I used to love fireworks and firecrackers, I could care less anymore. Oh sure. I still like to see the rockets’ red glare. Those beautiful colors with the flower shapes. (By the way, there is not much of a different shape that an explosion can make besides a sphere, which kinda looks like a flower. Just sayin’.) I love them. And those rockets that spiral up and leave a wonderful trail in the sky. Magnificent. Like I said, I still love the rockets’ red glare.

The problem is the bombs bursting in air. I could do without that. No. I never served in the military (but I thank those who did and do). I do not get flashbacks. I just do not like the noise. Boom! Boom! Boom! All night long. No fun there. I mean c’mon. I even wear ear protection at church. (I would rather they turn down the volume so I could hear people around me singing. Even if they sing off key. But that is a different story.)

Now I understand that some of the big booms come from launching the fireworks into the air. And I get that some of the big booms come from launching the fiery projectiles from their casings to get the wonderful blooms in the air. But if they could tone down the sound, I would be happy. I would be amazed at the rockets’ red glare and bombs bursting quietly in air. But that is not the reality of things. And so I am pretty much done with the Fourth of July celebrations. Or at least with the noisy fireworks. (But I do not begrudge others having them. After all, I can fall asleep pretty much any time, any place.)

I hope that you had a great Independence Day celebration, even if I do not enjoy your bombs bursting in air so much. For when all is said and done, all the noise is about hope and freedom. And those are concepts worth celebrating.

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Hyperbole, Exaggeration, and Irony · 5 July 2025

Is there such a thing as a lie in writing?

Writers use literary devices called hyperbole, exaggeration, or irony, but they all come down to the same thing. Lying. You are not really saying what you mean. Which is the definition of a lie. But what about hyperbole, exaggeration, and irony? Are they really lies? Or do we use those writing devices to communicate more clearly? Even when we might be saying the opposite of what we mean.

Now, I never use hyperbole. I mean it is ridiculous to go to the nth degree. Think about it. If I just stick to the facts, I am much better off. And the message is clear. No hyperbole needed. Ever. Right?

I think the worst hyperbole used today is when people say, “literally” when they obviously cannot literally mean literally. I actually do hate that. No exaggeration. No hyperbole. I think it is the worst (or nearly the worst) thing that young people could have done to such a nice word. Saying, “literally” after everything that you want to emphasize? Quite the hyperbole. Quite unnecessary. Sheesh.

I suppose that exaggeration is not necessarily something that I really need to cover since hyperbole is just exaggeration to the nth degree. You cannot exaggerate something more than hyperbole. At least not that I know of. And if you did not catch it, the very first thing that I said (in the third paragraph) was that I never use hyperbole. Which is hyperbole. Period. Always and never are always exaggeration. They are always hyperbole. Except when they are not. Which is rare enough. So we literally should never use “always” and “never.” Hmm.

Irony is one of my favorite literary devices. Even though I do not use it that much. At least I do not think I do. I am not really clever enough to use irony (or an iron for that matter, but that is a completely different story). I mean, saying the opposite of what you mean in such a way that people know you really mean the opposite of what you say? It seems crazy. Or at least beyond my feeble mind. I can barely say what I want to say when I say it straight forward. So using irony? I would love to, but I think it is beyond my skill set. Now, if I was Mark Twain or Samuel Clemens, I would be a master of irony and satire (which I will not address here). Those guys could write. And they were amazing at irony. (Maybe that is what I need. A pen name. Or maybe I just need to refer to myself as two people instead of one. Is that a literary device?)

Well, I think that this piece was done before it started. I do not know how to use hyperbole, exaggeration, or irony. But if I ever figure them out, maybe I could figure out if they are lies or not. After all, that is the question I started with in the first place. (But I do not think I answered it. Not one little bit.)