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Not No-Shave November · 14 November 2015


Even if I tried, nobody would believe that I participated in No Shave November. Oh sure, I might have a little stubble or maybe even a couple long whiskers, but people would just say that I did a poor job of shaving for a month rather than not shaving at all.


While I may have tried NaNoWriMo (writing 50,000 words toward a novel in the month of November) a couple times, I have never participated in No Shave November. It is not that I do not think I could grow an amazing beard like the guys in the band ZZ Top or from the show Duck Dynasty. It is that I know I cannot. Even if I never shaved another day in my life, I doubt I would get more than a couple strands of whiskers to grow more than a couple inches on my face. (More likely, I would get a single strand of hair to grow out of my nose.) But seriously, I cannot grow facial hair.


Not that I have not tried.


One summer, I did not shave for a week. I looked the same on day five as I did on day two. (I may not have made it a full week.) Just a few stubbles on my boyish face. The worst part was not that I could not grow a beard though. The worst part was that those short whiskers (if they could even be called that) itched. While I was going through that short growth period, I had a realization. Men who stroke their beards are not really making them grow, they are just trying to keep themselves from scratching all that hair on their faces. Or maybe that feeling goes away when the whiskers grow longer. I do not know. Like I said, I cannot grow them any longer than a couple millimeters.


Which is rather strange. The hair on top of my head grows pretty quickly. In fact, I actually let some student athletes shave my head when I was student teaching oh so long ago. It was not really a wager or anything. They just had to achieve a certain accomplishment (which I figured they would do) but they were excited when one of them (Will) pulled out the razor and shaved my head. They had a great time at my expense.


Needless to say, I was only completely bald for a couple days. The hair on my head grew back lickety split. Which is why I think it strange that hair on the bottom of my chinny chin chin does not grow at all. After all, it has gravity on its side.


But alas. Like it or not, my face will always be mustacheless and beardless.


Which brings me back to November.


I am not really a non-conformist. Sure, I like to go against the status quo sometimes. I do like to swim upstream as it were. But that does not mean that I will not get behind something or go with the flow sometimes. Like I said, I have tried NaNoWriMo. And I have tried to not shave for a while, just not in November. When it comes right down to it, I am just like everybody else. Sometimes I get involved and sometimes I do not.


Which brings me back to No Shave November.


I would actually like to participate in No Shave November sometime. But I would like to have some success. I would like to actually get more than a little peach fuzz or stubble over my lip and on my chinny chin chin. My dad finally did it, grew a beard and mustache, and one of my brothers has done it, so maybe one day I can too. Maybe one day I can grow more than a couple hairs on my face.


Until then, though I will watch as people grow beards and mustaches. I will sit on the sideline cheering them on (and not scratching my chin) as everybody else goes through No Shave November.

© 2015 Michael T. Miyoshi

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